Funny New Years Resolutions
December 10, 2019
We’re all tired of those boring resolutions like, “I’m going on a diet!” or, “I’ll clean my room more often!” Ones like these never last more than a week, so here are some funny ones that might last more if they have a chance.
- Get fat: Admit it, there’s no escaping it, especially around the holidays. Just accept the truth.
- Be a better sibling: Sure, we can try. But here’s a trick- spending time is the best way to be a better sibling. Go “spend time” with your sibling!
- Watch Peppa Pig: Why not?
- To make more resolutions next year: As long as you make another resolution next year, you’ve fulfilled it.
- Be smarter: Say that you want to be smarter, then take a big gulp of air and sigh, “Ahhh… that’s some nice oxygen!” or drink some water and look to a person nearby and say, “This has the percisley he right amount of hydrogen molecules! Want some?
It doesn’t matter if you don’t fulfill your resolutions, its the thought that counts.

Caroline is the editor of the Talon. She is an avid reader and loves writing her own stories.
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